I Feel Good

Hey, it's 10:30 at night and I'm full of energy. I turned off the football game at 10:00 to go to bed, and realized that I'm not exhausted. What a great feeling! Last Thursday, I had to leave work early because I was so tired that I no longer cared about anything, which is dangerous at work. I'm wide awake despite the fact that I had a terrible night's sleep last night. I had started worrying that my incision was infected--it was swollen and red and a little oozy (sorry). So then I started worrying that maybe I had an internal infection. You know there are these horrible infections like MRSA that are rampant in hospitals and unresponsive to antibiotics. Maybe that's what I had and why I was so tired. In fact, maybe it would spread through my whole system and I would die in my sleep. A night like that.

I have a bit of a fear of dying in my sleep. I comes from when I was 7 or 8 and had some illness for which I had to take pink medicine. My sister Debbie volunteered to get the medicine and my mother gave it to me. I kept complaining about the taste and finally my mother looked at the label and discovered that Debbie had gotten a medicine that was for external use only, but looked just like my medicine, except of course, for the skull and crossbones on the label. Panic ensued and after a call to Dr. Moyer, I had to drink warm milk and have my mother stick her finger down my throat a million times. When that was done, I went to bed, where my sister Chris kindly told me I was going to die. I was really scared and tried not to go to sleep, but eventually sleep came and after sleeping a bit, I woke up and vomited a huge amount all over the hall floor. Somehow, it was my dad's job to clean in up. Maybe because he didn't have to do the finger down the throat task. Then I was fine and went right back to sleep. But that fear of falling asleep because I'll die in the night returns periodically.

I went to the doctor today and he said no infection. And now I have energy. And intend to sleep deeply and without fear tonight, and if it stops raining tomorrow, go for a bike ride!

PS I only gained .4 of a pound in Minnesota. Hallelujah! And I've lost 1.1 pounds since then. Apparently, I didn't eat highly caloric food every second that I was gone.

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