Salt Away

I was feeling discouraged this morning because I haven't lost any weight for close to a week, even though I've been staying within my calorie count and assiduously avoiding sugar and alcohol. I talked with Mark about it at Fitness Together and he reminded me that I went to the midwest to visit my family one week and celebrated Christmas the next (not to mention the 5 parties the weekend before I went to the midwest) and was down 5 pounds during that time. Usually I would have gained at least that much weight with all those great eating occasions. That made me feel somewhat better. I wish the way I felt about myself physically wasn't so tied to a number on the scale. My strength and endurance have increased so much in the last month.

I felt even better when I came home and recorded my food from last night. Liz, our friend Bob, and I did the 6:00 pm spinning class at the Y with Peggy last night (what a workout!). Bob's wife Diana  picked us up at 7 and we had to have a quick meal in order to make it to the 8:10 showing of "The Fighter" (good movie). I suggested Panera, because I thought it would be a healthy option near Cinemark.

Panera is great, because they list the calories for each item right on the menu. I had the cobb salad, which left me with enough calories to have popcorn at the movie. What shocked me when I looked up the Panera nutrition information this morning was that the salad had about 1,200 mg of sodium. The nutrition program I'm on recommends 1,500 mg of sodium for the day, so between the salad and the popcorn, I must be retaining 25-30 pounds of water. Or maybe 1/2 pound--anything to get me below this stuck place. I'll see in the morning.

I worked out with Mark at FT today. What a great workout! We started doing 10 minutes of intervals on the exercise bike--I was amazed my legs weren't dead from spinning last night. I did some balance work on the Bosu, and then we did a really hard and fun set of exercises.

In the set below, I started in a plank position on my elbows and my toes and then one arm at a time moved to a push-up position with my arms straight and then back down to a plank. I sounded like one of those weightlifters trying to bench a few hundred pounds (I guess that's sort of what I was doing) lots of grunting and groaning.

 

By the way, it's probably obvious, but I didn't bring my phone to FT today, so I recreated the exercises at home tonight and Liz took the pictures. It was painful to have to recreate them!

The exercise below was my favorite from today. I was in a push-up position resting on 10 pound dumbbells, and then alternated rowing with each arm. The first time I tried it, I couldn't even budge the weight.

 

Then another tough one. I started in the push-up position, did a push-up, and then at the top of the push up, elevated one arm and turned sideways (terrible form in the picture--my two arms should form a straight line), came back down, did another push-up, and then elevated the other arm.

 Hey--if you're bored with your workout--try these exercises!!!

Bah Humbug!

We were madly rushing around today, trying to get ready to leave for our trip: cleaning the house so Lynn, who is housesitting for us, wouldn't be appalled at our slovenliness, preparing Lynn and Nancy, who is staying for 2 of the days, for what to do if Lucy started failing again, doing laundry, printing our boarding passes, getting out our passports, etc., all much faster than we had planned because we decided to head to the airport ahead of the snow storm, so we wouldn't have to drive through it really early tomorrow morning.

Then we got the call from the airline saying our flight was cancelled and to call to rebook. I called, and after 20 minutes on hold, was told that the soonest we could leave was Thursday. Thursday!!! So we cancelled. We get snow and ice instead of sand and ice.

Normally, that kind of news would have sent me straight to ice cream and chocolate--I deserve to treat myself since I lost my vacation. We had been looking forward to this trip for months. But since we can't go, I want to use the time to work on my fitness goals. I want to see if I can get some appointments at FT, and take some classes at the Y--all assuming that we don't get so much snow that everything is shut down for days.

I do love snowstorms--I just wish the first one of the season didn't hit perfectly to prevent us from heading to Los Cabos.

Merry Christmas!!

It doesn't feel like Christmas, because I usually spend Christmas flying on a massive overdose of chocolate. It's the only day I typically start eating chocolate before breakfast and continue ingesting it at regular intervals throughout the day. I have to say, Christmas is much better without it. I usually have mood swings on Christmas that I've blamed on normal emotions around Christmas--who knew it was the chocolate!

I've been reading a book my niece Sara recommended--Ultramarathoner--Confessions of an All Night Runner by Dean x. It's not the best written book I've ever read, but it's really inspiring. Dean has run some amazing races--100 miles up and down mountains, 135 miles across a desert and ending at the top of a mountain, a marathon to the South Pole, and I'm currently reading about a 200 mile race he ran. I know the mental struggles I have about working out--questioning what I can do--but my struggles are minuscule compared to what it takes to complete ultramarathons. Reading this book makes me even more committed to exploring my limits--what am I capable of doing physically at age 60. I've also realized that I need to add this kind of reading to my training--being inspired by how other people are training, what their struggles are, and what they've been able to accomplish. Any suggestions?

Hitting the Bars

Today was my last workout at FT before heading on vacation. In addition it's Christmas eve and Alexandra's 14th birthday. We're going out to lunch to celebrate Alexandra's birthday and I'm making prime rib for a group for dinner tonight, so it was a good day for a tough workout.

Brandon had me workout with barbells today. I started with 60 squats, with weights ranging from 15 to 65 pounds. I'm pretty sure I alternated squats with some other exercise, but I sure can't remember what (perhaps osteoporosis isn't my only aging-related problem).

Then I alternated the bench press with the standing row.  Weights for the bench press went from 45 to 65 pounds. I really worked up a sweat with 65 pounds. I did 50 presses in total, but only 5 at 65 pounds. I am going to be sore tomorrow!

I did 60 standing rows, with weights ranging from 15 to 45 pounds. That's a tough exercise to keep good form with. I want to lift the weight with my shoulders instead of my back.

I am feeling great. I've lost 5 pounds in 3 weeks, and can feel the difference in how my clothes fit. I think I see a difference in the pictures of me  lifting weights. Be the first person to comment on my noticeable weight loss, and win my undying gratitude (or if you're a Pokela, a frozen Snickers bar at the lake--I know what appeals to my family).

So now my challenge is continuing my progress while we are in Los Cabos for a week. It's hard to know how many calories I'm consuming when restaurants are preparing my meals three times a day. Brandon recommends sticking to proteins, fruits, and vegetables and staying away from dishes with sauces or a lot of cheese. I'm hoping there is a scale there to help me stay in touch with reality. I know from pictures on the website that the hotel has a great health club. It'll help to be in beautiful weather--we'll be spending a lot of time be physically active outside.

Happy holidays!!!

It's Been a Hard Day's Night

Today was really hard. At 3AM, our dog Lucy collapsed and couldn't get up. Our vet told us that she might have a condition that would cause her to die suddenly, but without pain. She could have surgery which could either fix e problem or make it worse. We decided to err on the side of not operating. Liz and I spent many hours today crying and caring for her. Our friends Diana, Bon, Alexqndra, and Diane came to say goodbye. Here's a picture of Alexandra and Lucy.

But as the day went on, Lucy gained strength. She started doing some shaky walking, and then more normal walking. I wouldn't say she's back to normal, but we are starting to hope that she'll live through this!

When I Woke Up This Morning . . .

. . . I was feeling so much better than yesterday, that I went for my workout. I did a two circuits of squats, rows, shoulder presses, and lunges with 15 lb. dumb bells, followed by cobras and a partridge in a pear tree, no, it was a plank.

I can feel myself getting stronger, even with a cold. It feels great.

By the end of the work day, though, I was shot. It was a very intense day, with lots of deadlines, and when I turned off my computer, all I wanted to do was go home to bed. I asked Georganne if she cold handle the call to Nicaragua herself, and it turned out that Skype was down, so the call didn't happen anyway.

I'm off to bed!

You Give Me Fever

I can deny it no longer--I have a cold. I spent the day at home, napping in between doing the tasks that had to be done for work today. The hardest was a nearly 2 hour phone meeting with a client. It's amazing what the brain is capable of when needed. I had very little brain function before the meeting and even less after, but was able to pull it together for the meeting.

So the question is, should I try to do the same thing physically tomorrow? I only have 2 more sessions before I go off on vacation, so I really want to go, but will it make me sicker? I have a full schedule at work tomorrow, followed by an evening phone call with Georganne and John in Nicaragua about our upcoming trip to Ometepe.

I'm going to see how I feel in the morning, but I will err in the direction of training-- I have less than 2 months until our trip, and want to be in as good shape as possible-- I've got a week on the beach next week to relax.

Come in From the Cold

It's amazing how warm 28 degrees feels after a few days of being in temperatures around 10 degrees. Here's my niece Katy providing perspective on the height of the snow in a parking lot. They are supposed to get another storm tonight. I don't know where they are going to put it.

I thought I had a great weekend in terms of my fitness goals. I got in 2 workouts--it was fun working out with my nieces Katy and Sara. I was thinking about how it never would have occurred to me to work out with any of my aunts when I was their age. I don't think any of my aunts ever worked out. I'm hoping it's something they can continue with the next generation in our family.

In addition to working out, I stayed within my eating goals. Despite both of those things, I was somehow 1.5 pounds heavier today, which is frustrating. I really thought I'd get on the scale, well, actually, I weigh myself on a Wii, and have lost a pound or two. I'm hoping maybe I injested more salt over the weekend than normal, and it'll be gone tomorrow.

I had a great workout with Mark tonight. We did a lot of balance work. My balance really suffered during my recuperation and it showed during my workout. Here's a sample exercise (I should have taken a picture):

Put a 15-25 pound weight in your right hand.
Square your shoulders back, and raise your right leg behind you at the same time you lower your torso in front of you until you make nearly a straight line
Bring your torso back up and your leg back down, but don't  touch your foot to the ground
Do a bicep curl by bending your elbow up to your chest and a shoulder press by raising your arm straight above your head.
Reverse the process to bring the weight down and repeat, never touching your foot to the ground.
After 12 reps, switch legs.

Ok, I touched my foot to the ground a bazillion and three times. It's a deceptively hard exercise.

I feel like I picked up a cold in the cold and am trying to decide what to do about working out. I've read that if your heart rate is elevated in the morning before you get out of bed, it's a good idea to take a break, so I'll see what the morning brings. In the meantime, my flight was delayed last night and I didn't get home till 2AM, so I'm making tonight an early night.

On the Road Again

I'm in Minnesota. It's a balmy 14 degrees out, up from a low of 3, and working to a high of 14. Tomorrow is going to be the hottest day of my visit, with a high of 15, and the coldest day, with a low of 1. I can hear the furnace struggling to keep the house warm, taking brief pauses to catch its breath before resuming its work. There's about a foot and a half of snow on the groud and some truly amazing snow banks on the side of the road. I don't think the snow that's on the ground is going anywhere this winter--I can't imagine how high those snow banks will be by the end on January.

I weighed in yesterday and have lost 4.3 pounds in two weeks! I do not want to give any of that weight back to the scale because of my trip. I am committed to returning at the same or lower weight. I came up with a plan for enjoying food while traveling--make a delicious stir-fry of shrimp, onions, and snow peas on brown rice, but by the time I finished grocery shopping and made dinner, I just wanted to see the Celtics beat the Knicks. It looked like it was going the other way, but Paul Pierce made the game winning shot with .7 of a second left on the game clock. Go Celtics!

So I brought some food that I thought would be satisfying--some apples, raw sweet peas, and some energy bars. The airport was causing the normal cravings--a man across from me was making his ice cream cone look like the most delicious thing ever. But I stuck to my plan, and for the first time ever, spent the entire flight talking to the person next to me, and my food cravings disappeared. Maybe that was what I was really looking for--the nourishment of human connection.

Shape Shifting

I'm starting to feel the shape of my body changing and I'm feeling stronger. It's a great feeling. I know I built a base for this when my doctor said I could start working out again at the beginning of November. I worked out 2-4 times a week, with 1 workout at Fitness Together, 1-2 spinning classes at the Y, and 1-2 weightlifting sessions at home or the Y.

But working out with a trainer 3 times at Fitness Together plus 2 spinning classes for the past week feels like my fitness level has accelerated amazingly. What a great feeling!

Today after doing a lot of squats, deadlifts, calf raises, and stair stepping, Sean led me in an intensive ab and oblique workout. The pictures are of my 2 favorite exercises from today. If you have a Swiss ball, the exercise pictured is a great way to have fun strengthening your abs while having fun. You just start by holding the ball with your arms straight and your legs bent and raised, lower the ball over your head until it touches the floor, raise it up and shift it between your ankles like on the left, and then lower your legs till it touches the floor. Keep your back flat on the floor, and you'll have nice sore abs tomorrow.

For the obliques, Sean had me lean sideways on a weight bench as pictured below, and then lower and raise my hips using my oblique muscles. A great way to isolate those muscles!

So with intense workouts like this, it's not surprising that I'm feeling my shape shifting.






What I don't like is how when I feel great, my mind is quick to undermine me. You're feeling good--do you know you're still 35 pounds over your ideal weight? Just think about what kind of shape you'd be in now if

you hadn't put on that 15 pounds this summer and fall. You'd be close to your ideal weight by the time you left for Nicaragua. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I remind myself that I am where I am and I can't start anywhere but from where I am. If I had been in better shape to begin with, I might not have won the contest and been given this opportunity. Enough with the self-hatred. I'm having fun, getting stronger, shifting shape. Life is good!

Homeward Bound

I'm heading back to the motherland, Minnesota, on Thursday, and then driving to Sioux Falls with my niece, Katy, on Friday, to celebrate Christmas with my mother, brother and sister-in-law, and nieces and their families.

So how to keep on my fitness program while traveling? I travel a lot, and haven't been successful. Food at airports and on planes is generally bad, with limited options that have more calories than nutrition. I frequently eat crap that I'd never eat at home just because I'm starving and think that I somehow deserve a very fattening reward, for what, I'm not sure.

I'd like to transform traveling for myself on this trip, to make it part of a healthy lifestyle. I transformed travel before. I used to complain about traveling, and I realized that since traveling is something I do regularly, I should find ways to enjoy it. So I thought about the things I really enjoy doing that I could do on the plane. I used to sit on the aisle so I could get off the plane fast. I changed to the window so I could enjoy the scenery. I had an amazing view of the Rockies on my last trip to L.A. Here are two pictures I took with my phone out the plane window. I buy magazines I enjoy, put podcasts and music I love on my iPhone, and books and games on my iPad. Now I enjoy traveling.

So what to do about eating while I'm traveling and during my visit? I'm heading to Trader Joe's after work tomorrow to see what I can bring. Brandon said there are energy bars that are nutritious without too much sugar, so I'll buy some of those. I can cut up carrots and celery so I have some vegetables and bring some apples. Doesn't sounds transforming, though, does it. I'm going to have to give it more thought.

In terms of exercise, I would normally work out both Friday and Saturday. I'm going to do my Friday workout on Thursday, which is normally a day off. So I texted my brother to see if we can go to a spinning class together on Saturday, and he's checking. We used to rollerblade together when I visited my brother, but before I get too deeply into feeling sorry for myself about not being able to rollerblade, I'm remembering that they have about 17 feet of snow.

My Mind's the Limit

Today I did my first double workout. I worked out with Sean in the morning at Fitness Together and took a spinning class after work at the Y. When I started spinning, my legs were really tired, so I thought I'd take it easy, since I had already done one work out today. But then I thought, is that why I'm training--to take it easy? I'm doing this to challenge myself to see how much I can improve my fitness level in two months. That has nothing to do with taking it easy.

I don't want to push myself so hard that I can sick or injured, but neither of those things is likely to happen in spinning class. So I decided I would try to keep pace with the instructor. Immediately, I felt a burst of energy and started having fun. Peggy, the instructor, leads an amazing spinning class. She loves to alternate standing and sitting--sit for a minute, stand for 2; sit for 8 seconds, stand for 8 (repeat many times); sit for 4 seconds, stand for 4 (repeat many times); sit for 2 seconds, stand for 2 (repeat a bazillion times). Great workout for the heart and quads.

As much as I know that my frame of mind influences my performance, I don't have a lot of mastery over shifting from a "I can't do it" to a "I'm going for it" state of mind. I really saw that when I was doing my baseline assessment at the start of my training program. Like when I was doing a plank, the goal was to hold the plank position for as long as I could. If you've never done a plank, this is exactly how I look doing it. Anyway, I decided before I even started that I was going for holding it for 2 minutes. So as soon as Brandon told me I hit 2 minutes, guess what--I collapsed. If I had decided I was going for 3 minutes, would I have made it? 5 minutes? I don't know what my limit actually is, but I'm sure I didn't really hit it.

There's a great Radio Lab podcast called limits (go to http://www.radiolab.org/series/podcasts/ and scroll down the list of podcasts in the main part of the site until you see "Limits." It starts with an amazing story of a woman who competed in the Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii without training for it. The Ironman is a 2.5 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a 26.2 mile run. And this woman was competing without training. The whole program is such a reminder that we're capable of much more than we think. So I'm not about taking it easy--I'm about going for it!!!

Fear Factor

The thing I hate most about having broken so many bones is not the pain--it's the fear. When I broke my arm, I fell backwards on rollerblades and landed with all my weight on my left arm. It seemed reasonable that my arm would break in that circumstance, even with wrist guards on.

When I broke my leg, though, it broke in 6 places solely from the torque placed on it regaining my balance when I slipped on loose gravel--I didn't even fall. The orthopedic surgeon said my X-ray looked like I had been hit by a car. My first reaction was that I should just sit in a chair and never move. The movement that resulted in my leg breaking was so small, I felt like I could break a bone any day just going about my normal routine. That fear was confirmed by my doctor, who told me that I was at high risk for fracturing. She said that if I thought I was immobile with a broken arm and leg, I should think about what adding a broken hip to that mixture would bring, not to mention the risk of death from throwing off a blood clot with a broken hip. She instructed me not to exercise and to be very careful until I had been on Forteo, a drug I inject myself with daily to rebuild my bones, for 3 months.

After the 3 months were over, my doctor told me that I can do anything I want that isn't high impact, but that if I fall, I will break a bone. So I find myself frequently fearful. When I take spinning classes, at the end of the class, we stretch our hamstrings by putting one foot on the bike seat. We start with the other foot in line with the elevated leg, and then change the angle to stretch the inside of our thighs. Everyone else just shifts their feet. I put my leg down, shift my foot, and raise my leg up again, because I'm afraid I will break my leg bone by shifting it with all my weight on it.

When I went to the Patriot's game, I walked very carefully across the parking lot, because it was covered with loose gravel--the surface I slipped on when I broke my leg. The parking lot was full of people running and tossing footballs. Before I broke my leg, I would have attempted to catch and throw a football at least once. Now I was afraid to walk, much less run.

Yesterday morning, we got about the smallest amount of snow you can get and have snow on the ground, as you can see in the picture of our front yard (you can also see Liz's sculpture of the file cabinet man, which I love). When we went to the Y for spinning class, I was afraid that the parking lot would be icy, and held Liz's arm as we crossed it. I come from Minnesota--I'm used to snow and ice. I remember my whole life loving icy surfaces--I would always get a running start and see how far I could slide. I'm sure I did that as recently as last winter. I miss being that person--having that confidence in my balance and my body. I used to get mad at Liz for her caution--not wanting to go down steep hills on rollerblades. Now I am much more cautious than she is.

I am hopeful that working out will help me to regain my confidence in myself and my balance. I have decided that I am not going to let my fears stop me from doing what I want to do. I didn't enjoy recovering from broken bones, but I could do it again, and would rather do it than spend the rest of my life in a chair. But I sure would love it if I didn't spend so much time afraid.

Lord of the Rings

Yesterday was Day 2 of my training. My quads and glutes were still sore from Wednesday, but I figured after 160 lunges Wednesday, we would be doing other exercises. I would be wrong. I did lunges, along with squats and rows, but this time it was all done with rings.

First, I started with 20 lunges. The secret to this exercise is that I'm pulling myself up with my arms.It's effective--my forearms, triceps, and back muscles are all sore this morning, along with my quads and glutes.

     Then I did 20 squats, again pulling up with my arms.

 Then I did 20 rows. For this one, I balanced on my heels with my arms fully extended, leaning backwards, and pulled myself forward to the position on the right. After doing 20 of those, I started over and did another set of each--who would only want to do those exercises once--not the Lord of the Rings!












Then, the most fun exercise of the day--I forget it's real name, but I'll call it the flying lunge on the rings. I don't remember how many sets of 10 I did--was it a hundred? No, maybe 2.

Looking at that movie, I know I'm going to be in incredible shape in 2 months! We rounded it off with a bunch of planks--can't ignore the abs--and cobras, so I'll have a nice, erect posture. I've only done this ring workout once before, but I have to say, it's really fun and one of my favorites.

Anchors A Weigh

It has been a week since I found out I won the Fitness Together contest, and I've lost 2.5 pounds. I'm starting to lose the anchors that keep me from being light on my feet. I'm psyched about the idea of losing weight, feeling stronger and more flexible, and looking better, but I don't want to lose sight of my major goal for doing this. On February 4th, the day after I complete the program, I leave for Nicaragua with my business partner Georganne and a group of volunteers. We are going to be building an addition onto a home out of earthbags with a family on the island of Ometepe so the grandmother doesn't have to sleep in a room with plastic sheeting for walls.


This is what building a home out of earthbags looks like:

Here are what some completed homes built with earthbags look like. It's going to be hard work and I am committed to being in great shape in order to be an active participant in the process throughout the week. I am so excited about doing this work in February and for as many years in the future that I can, and am looking forward to sharing pictures and videos of the work we are doing.

This is a tough 4 days in terms of eating. I went to a birthday party tonight, we're having people over for dinner tomorrow night, we're going to a baby shower on Saturday, a Christmas party brunch on Sunday, and a Christmas party Sunday evening. Normally, I would be indulging in plenty of food and drink at all 4 occasions. I made a commitment to Brandon that I'm not drinking alcohol or eating dessert until after February 3rd. I'm exercising at an intense level and restricting my calories somewhat, so I want all the calories I'm taking in to be calories my body can use for building my strength.

I'm really glad I made that commitment, because I could have easily rationalized drinking a beer or two tonight and having some birthday cake. I also wouldn't have spent as much time studying the menu to figure out what would taste delicious and be healthy (I ordered the plank steak, a salad, horseradish mashed potatoes, and asparagus--yummy--and ate about 1/2 of what was on my plate ).

It makes such a difference to make a commitment to someone else. Without it, this weekend would have resulted in me being more heavily anchored to the earth.

Taking the Lunge

I did my first workout of my new training program today. The first thing I learned is that when I'm working with a trainer 3 days a week, we really focus on specific muscle groups each session, as opposed to the whole body workout I'm used to with once a week training.

After warming up, here are the two things I did:

160 lunges. That is a lot of lunges. I am anticipating problems sitting down and standing up tomorrow. My quads, hamstrings, and glutes were burning by the time we were done. Here's a picture of me doing a lunge while Brandon makes sure I have no form breaks.

I can't do lunges without the pole yet because of the stiffness and soreness in my left ankle and foot, but I can reassure you, it didn't make it easier.

I also did 71 presses, alternating between 10, 12, and 15 pound dumb bells. That's a weird number, isn't it. My triceps already are sore, and I didn't even know I used my triceps to do presses. Here's a lovely picture of me exhibiting classic signs of muscle failure.

I love feeling sore after a hard workout, so tomorrow will be a good day.

I also did an assessment of my overall fitness. It's the 7th assessment I've done since I started working out at Fitness Together in 2007, and my last one was in April, right before I broke my arm. It's really interesting to see what sitting around for 6 months has done to my fitness level. I read once that you lose the effects of training in 1 month, so I thought after 6, I'd be completely out of shape. My overall fitness level is 63 (I have no idea what the top of the scale is). That's down from 71 in April, but is still above average, and higher that my fitness level in 2007 and the beginning of 2009, despite being at my highest weight!

The most surprising result is that my resting heart rate is 62, which is well below the average rate, and the lowest I've tested. I'm attributing that to the excellent job I did resting in my chair for 6 months Here I am, with the boot on my leg and splint on my arm, working away on my resting heart rate. Look at that--I'm wearing my same workout clothes!

Preparation H

The H is for health, of course. What were you thinking? After 6 months of not being able to work out because of doctor's orders, I've forgotten how much preparation is involved in being fit and eating well. I have my first training session for my new program at 7:30 tomorrow morning. That means I have to get up early enough to have some breakfast, pack a lunch and snacks, pack up what I need to shower after my workout and dress for work. And in order to prepare breakfast and lunch, I had to previously purchased the food I need to be able to make healthy meals.

The amount of preparation it takes is difficult with the busy lives we lead. It would be so much easier to stop for a bagel after working out and get take-out for lunch. Actually, the easiest thing to do would be to shower and get ready for the day at home, and skip the work-out. I was excited about winning the Fitness Together contest because I know I work out much harder with a personal trainer. I'm seeing that another equally important benefit is that I can't rationalize my way out of tomorrow morning's workout. I have an appointment. How many times have I told myself something like, "It's too much to get everything together to work out in the morning, and I need the sleep, so I'll work out at lunch or after work." I don't know the number but I can tell you that it wouldn't take many fingers to count the number of times I actually worked out at the alternate times.

Hey--taking spinning classes two days in a row, followed by going to the Patriots-Jets game did not hurt my leg, even though getting from the parking lot to our nose-bleed seats was by far the longest walk I've taken since I broke my leg. It was worth staying up until 3:30 in the morning to wath the Patriots decimate the Jets. What fun!!!!!

Psycho Trainer Que'est-ce Que C'est

Yes, I was a psycho today about training. My training program with Fitness Together starts on Tuesday, but I have a commitment to work out 4 times a week and had only worked out 3 times. I took a spinning class yesterday at the Y, and was debating whether or not to take another one today.

The main issue is that I don't know how much stress I can put on my healing left leg. Two months ago I set myself back a few days by doing the grocery shopping without crutches. A month ago, I did the same thing by taking a spinning class and then going to a play with Bennett at the Eric Carle museum (it involved a lot of walking and standing).

After the spinning class yesterday, I spent the rest of the morning and much of the afternoon shopping with Bennett. Yes, shopping. I hate to shop, except for sporting goods and electronics, but I discovered yesterday that taking a 3 year-old to Barnes & Noble, Petco, and A2Z was like going to three playgrounds. We had a great time. Here's a picture of Bennett with Curious George at B&N.


So what was driving me crazy (not a long trip) was whether spinning again today would hurt my leg, not only because of everything I did yesterday, but because tomorrow I'm going to the Patriots-Jets game with Bob, and that means many hours without my leg elevated, and lots of walking--taking the stairs alone up into the very top of the stadium will be a workout--think of Rocky.

The main thing is--I don't trust myself. I don't trust that I won't do too much and hurt myself and I don't trust that I'm thinking that because I'm being lazy and rationalizing myself out of working out. And I realized that one of the great things about the training program I'm going to be starting is that I don't need to worry about playing those psycho mind games with myself for the next two months. All of my workouts have been scheduled--no thinking needed. I also realized that I have a trainer who will be a partner with me in this. I don't have to engage in this internal debate--I can ask Brandon what he thinks.

So what did I do? After debating back and forth from early this morning until 2:30 this afternoon, I took the class. And felt great. Here I am at the end of class. I'll let you know how the stair-climbing goes tomorrow. Go Pats!

I won!

The day I found out I won two months of training at Fitness Together I had weighed myself for the first time in two months. Not good news. I had put on another 8 pounds, for a total weight gain of 15 pounds since I broke my arm and leg. I'm not at my all-time high weight, but I can see it from here. I made a vow to start doing something about it, but have made that vow many times, and knew I wasn't likely to do anything.

And then I found out I won. It is amazing the difference it is making for me to win the contest. Now what I eat and how much I exercise doesn't just matter to me, it makes a difference for Fitness Together. I need to earn the amazing gift they have given me. One of the first things I did after getting the news was to go to the supermarket to get some nutritious food, and any time I think about getting some take out or buying some ice cream, it's easy to dismiss that thought, because of my commitment to Fitness Together.

I've been thinking a lot about what a difference it is making to have a commitment to something beyond myself in my ability to control what I'm eating and how much I work out. Because I'm not a hermit living in a cave in the forest. My fitness has always had an impact that goes way beyond me. I have a commitment to Liz to do what I can to grow old together as healthily as I can. I have a commitment to my employees to be healthy to run my company. I have a commitment to my family and friends to be healthy so I can be a person they can count on. And I have a commitment to the world to work for all people and cultures to be honored and respected for the gifts they have been providing the world. Once I complete my commitment to Fitness Together, I need to keep my other commitments front in center in my mind, and not pretend that my actions only have an impact on me.