Best of Intentions

Well, I meant to go to a class this morning at the Y, but I couldn't get to sleep last night. My left foot hurts most nights--I have neuropathy on the top of my foot because the nerves were severed in the surgery to repair my leg. The top of my foot is numb, so it's this weird combination of numbness and pain. Thankfully, it no longer bothers me much during the day, but there it is every night when I go to bed. Nothing can touch my foot at night, so I have to make a little tent out of the sheets and blankets. Most nights I can fall asleep pretty fast, but every once in awhile I have a night like last night. I kept checking the clock--11, 12, 1. By that point, I changed the alarm and slept in. I need to workout tomorrow morning, so here's hoping for a good night's sleep tonight.

Help, I Need Somebody

I am getting discouraged because I am not losing weight. I started thinking today about giving up because it's so discouraging to get on the scale every day and gain and lose the same couple of pounds, even though I've been sticking to my points, and not eating sweets or drinking alcohol. I know, though, that giving up means gaining weight, so that's what's keeping me in the game.

I haven't been able to workout as often as I want because of my travel schedule. I know that it would make a big difference if I was working out 4-5 times a week. I went to my sister Barb's exercise studio 3 times when I was in Minnesota. It's a very cool place--it looks like a spa and the women who led the classes were in great shape and very inspiring. We took a Nia class, which is a dance class, and 2 classes that involved using hand weights to do very high numbers of reps of exercises for the whole body to music. For example, we did 4-5 sets of 16 reps of chest presses without a break, and the whole hour was like that. I was a little disdainful about using light weights until I discovered how many reps we were doing. Every muscle in my body burned at one point or another during the workout.

That made me realize that I could be doing classes at the Y in addition to spinning, and that when Liz and I are done with our 6 months at Fitness Together, we can get that hard of a workout in a class with a great instructor. We're going to start tomorrow morning.

So I'm recommitting, but please, please, please oh god of weight loss, let me get passed this place that I'm stuck! Seeing results really helps with staying motivated.

Help is on the Way

I decided that in addition to committing to you, dear reader, that I won't drink alcohol or eat sugar until my birthday, I needed a live person to commit to, too. So when I went in for my workout at Fitness Together today, I made the commitment to Mark. He said he would put it in my record, so my traines will check in with me about it whenever I come in. That feels great. Liz made the commitment, too, and is going to tell her trainer tomorrow. Having both of us have the same goal really helps. By the way, you should see Liz--she's slimming up fast and looks great!

I had a great upper body workout today. I did 5 sets of pushups, bench presses, and dips, all of which focus on the pecs and triceps. I can feel a pleasant stiffness developing already this evening. I've been having some pain in my mid-back so I ended with some exercises that focused on that area.

I got an email from Barb today inviting me to join her at her gym on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, so that will be great for the weekend.

Goin' Down, Down, Down

Well, my willpower seems to have disappeared this weekend. Drinking beer and wine, eating french fires, hamburgers and dessert. Not the kind of diet that brings me to me goal. So I need to make a new commitment. I'm committing to you, loyal reader, that I will not drink alcohol, eat sugar, or go above my calorie limit from this moment until my birthday on June 14th. I will also track my food everyday.

My first challenge will be going to Minnesota this Thursday. Fortunately, my sister Barb really likes to workout, so I'm going to go with her 2-3 times. But mainly, I won't have a lot of control over my meals, so I'll have to make good choices from what's available and watch portion sizes. I'm counting on you to hold me accountable.

I had another fabulous Tabada workout on Friday that I'm still sore from. It involves doing an exercise for 20 seconds, resting for 10 seconds and repeating for a total of 6 times, which means 3 minutes. It doesn't sound like much, but believe me, by the 5th and 6th repetitions, I was very happy I wasn't doing it 7 times. I did squats, push-ups, shoulder lifts, dips, hamstring curls (done with my feet on a Swiss ball, raise my hips up, and roll the ball toward me--really isolates the hamstrings), and I'm forgetting an exercise ot tow, all followed up by following the same pattern on an exercise bike--pedal as fast as I can for 20 seconds, rest for 10, 6 times.

You can do a Tabada pattern with any exercise--try it the next time you work out--it'll help you break through to the next level.

St. Urho's Day

While everyone else in Massachusetts is celebrating St. Patty's Day today, I'm into my second day of celebrating St. Urho's Day. I may have gone over my calories for the first time today. I was at the vet picking up Charlie, who was doing his best to support our vet and his family's cruise in the Carribean this week, when in walked Diana. We hadn't seen each other for weeks between their vacation in Hawaii and Liz being in NYC and me in LA. So given the day, the only appropriate thing to do was to head to a bar.

We went to the Toasted Owl--what a great name. I ordered a wedge salad with bacon and blue cheese dressing. It seemed like the best option, but boy, it came back with a LOT of bacon and blue cheese. It's hard to know how to calculate the calories for that (plus a couple of beers), so I decided to err on the high side, which put me 200 calories over my limit. I don't know if that's accurate, because I am hungry.

I guess the best thing to do is to have a great work out tomorrow--I am looking forward to it. It is a challenging weekend. I'm going to a friend's house for dinner tomorrow--I know she'll be serving lots of great food and wine. Saturday night we're going out with Bob and Diana and they are taking us on an adventure to show their gratitude for us taking Alexandra for a week. And Sunday we're having one of the people who went to Nicaragua and his girlfriend over for dinner. At least I have control over the menu for that. I need to take lots of spinning classes in the next 3 days!

Life's Little Ups and Downs

As I suspected, I gained weight over the weekend--2.8 pounds according to my WII. I knew I couldn't have really gained that much weight. I also know from when I was in Weight Watchers that when you do gain weight, it's much easier to lose it immediately than it is if you let it hang around for a while.

So I made sure I went back to tracking my calories yesterday. I didn't try to starve myself--just stay under the 1950 calories I'm limited to. Hey, 1950, that's the year I was born. That should bring me some kind of luck.

Sure enough, I was down 2.2 pounds today. Hopefully, I'll be back to where I started tomorrow.

I had a fun workout today. I got to use the ladder today. It's like a rope ladder on the floor and I did various step routines in and out of the squares of the ladder. It reminded me of football players running through tires in pre-season training camp, or soldiers running through obstacle courses made of rope in basic training. Really fun. I was surprised at how much it used my core muscles. Also, since I broke my leg, I feel very stuck to the ground--like I have extra gravity holding me down. It feels like doing exercises with the ladder will make me lighter on my feet.

So Tired. . .

Between losing an hour to daylight savings time and jet lag, I am so exhausted I'm barely standing. I actually fell asleep at my desk at work today. Good thing I'm the boss. So what to do when I'm so tired. I don't do caffiene, so coffee is out. I've tried drinking a bit of coffee when I'm tired and I stay up most of the night, so that's out. I went to investigate the company chocolate supply, but alas (and happily), it was empty. Lisa who works for me had an energy bar with a bit of dark chocolate in it, and it did the trick without me overdoing it on either chocolate or calories.

It was another difficult day for eaten and exercising. I was so tired when the alarm went off at 6:30, that I reset it and went back to sleep. No exercise We had next to no food in the house because Liz was gone this weekend, too, so I didn't have my normal breakfast, lunch, and snacks. I went shopping for some things after work and Liz went out and completed the shopping after dinner, so we're set for the week.

We're having the same situation the week after next. I'm going to Minnesota and Liz is heading for San Francisco, so I hope we learned something from this weekend and prepare better. Liz has been working out at Fitness Together, too. She's getting excited about her workouts, which in turn, gets me reinspired.

It's Been a Long Time

Wow--it's been way too long since I blogged. Not since my time of shame in spinning class. I just got back from LA, and the lesson of the weekend is I really need to prepare better when I travel.

When I go to LA, I assist in a course and have to be there at 7 am to set up on Saturday and Sunday, and we finish debriefing at around 9:30-10 Saturday night and 7 Sunday night, at which time I'm exhausted. So if I haven't planned my food ahead of time, I'm really limited to the hotel's menu, which while delicious, is full of temptations and calories (think delicious waffle fries, for example).

When I went to pack on Friday morning (I had to leave at 11), I discovered that I only had 2 protein bars. That was a bad start--I rely on protein bars on the plane and at the course because they're nutritious and very filling, and help me to avoid temptation. Then I texted my friend who usually goes to Trader Joe's to stock up for the course and found out that she was getting to LA late and couldn't get there. Oh, oh, things were not looking good. And then I basically gave up. The menu at the hotel really doesn't have much that would fit into my diet. I didn't go totally crazy, but I did eat a cupcake, a bunch of chocolate, waffle fries, and drank 2 beers, on top of the meals I ate. We'll see what the scale says tomorrow. I want to make sure I'm better prepared when I travel in the future. The key now is to get right back to eating the way I want to eat.

My weight has really been stuck since after the first week I got back from Nicaragua. I keep losing and gaining the same 2 pounds. I immediately blamed myself--I must not be counting my calories correctly, I need to go back to weighing all my food instead of estimating it. I talked to Savanah at Fitness Together about it, and she thinks my body has hit a plateau because it's gotten accustomed to the kind of exercise I'm doing. she's going to switch it up at Fitness Together and suggested that instead of always doing interval cardio workouts, which is what spinning is, to do some cardio workouts keeping my heart rate steady at a lower rate, like in the 130s.

What's most interesting to me in all this is how my first assumption is that I must be doing something wrong in terms of my eating. In the past, I might have either given up or tried restricting my diet more. It's nice to be able to talk about it with someone who's seen other people plateau and understands the reasons it happens.

The Jerk

I actually got up at 5:15 this morning and got to spinning before 6. The last time I'd gone to a 6am class, there were about 6 people in it, so I didn't call to reserve a bike. As it got closer to 6, the room started getting full and I started regretting not calling in. When the class started, Don announced that it was someone's birthday, and then I noticed that a woman was wondering around looking for a bike.

I had gotten there pretty early and the rule is that the last person who arrives who didn't sign up is the first to go, so I still thought I was safe. Don asked who hadn't signed up, so I raised my hand and looked around to see who else hadn't signed up. No other hands. Don started in about how he was sorry, but . . ., but I wasn't ready to accept that I had to go. I was really irritated, not only because I gotten up so early, but because I was anxious about getting up so early and had a rotten night's sleep. So I challenged the room--isn't here anyone else who didn't sign up? No response. Then I tried my last ploy--I asked the woman if she had signed up. She said yes.

I got off the bike and stomped out. Don said he was sorry again and said to sign up for the 6 am class tomorrow. Not likely, I snarled.

I was out in the hall getting my stuff together, when the woman came out and said that it was ok, I could stay. I couldn't believe she was being so nice, especially given that I was acting like a petulant teenager. After thanking her profusely, I went back in and got on my bike.

At which time I was forced to confront what a jerk I had been. It's one thing to act like a jerk and leave. It's quite another to come back in and be in the midst of a room full of people who saw me act that way.

At the end of class, I apologized to everyone for acting like a jerk. Don was nice enough to say that I just acted like everyone who has to leave class. Then he said that he was the jerk, because he thought that she was embarrassed that he'd announced that it was her birthday. That made me feel worse--here she came to work out at 6 am on her birthday and I was part of that not happening.

Another in a long string of examples of what happens when I don't take responsibility for my actions. I chose not to call in and didn't want to accept what came from that. I'm hoping my embarrassment helps me to act with more grace in the future. That's a good muscle to strengthen.

Stepping On Up

I had an accomplishment today I feel really good about. On Friday, when Savanah had me do step ups (step up on a platform on one leg, raise the other leg up on the platform and then lower it to the floor, repeat a bunch of times) she first wanted me to try it on a 18" high platform. I didn't think I could do it, because I never had been able to before, but I gave it a try. Trying to step up 18" seemed impossible, like the foot on the floor was being held there by powerful magnets. She moved me to a 12" platform and I was fine.

Mark had me do step ups today, and like Savanah, brought out the 18" platform. I told Mark I hadn't been able to use the 18" platform on Friday, but I'd give it a try. Stepping on the 18" platform today was like doing the 12" platform on Friday. I was amazed! I did 4 sets of 12. What a great feeling.

Liz has a 6am workout at Fitness Together tomorrow (is she crazy, or what) so I'm going to go to the 6 am spinning class. Couldn't go tonight because I had a board meeting. So off to bed I go.

Seeing Failure in My Future

I had a great time spinning today. There was a substitute instructor who doesn't lead as hard a workout as Don, so I was really pleased that I was regularly getting my heart rate into the 160s and averaged 141. I'm pleased that I'm becoming less dependent on the instructor to have a great workout.

My friend Gina was there. I talked to her about recumbent three wheelers. She said she's seen them and people ooo and shhh over them cause they look really cool. So maybe it wouldn't make me look like I was 95 years old. I'm thinking about it. They aren't cheap.

While I was spinning I realized that I have been so sure I was going to fail once I lost the structure of 4 Fitness Together appointments per week, that it's kind of surprising I haven't. I'm starting to feel back into a routine again, and my workout today was particularly convincing--I can push myself harder than the instructor. Yay!

Legs!

I had a great lower body workout with Savanah today. It started with step ups--standing on a platform, lowering one leg to touch the ground, and raising it to the level of the platform again. Very rough on the quads.


Then I did forward step ups--stepping up on a bench, lifting the other leg up parallel to the ground, and then switching legs.


Exercise number three was standing lunges--standing with one foot on a low platform, the other on the floor, and lowering my back knee toward the floor while holding dumbbells.



Number four involved sitting on a bench, lifting one leg up, and then standing and returning to sitting on the other leg. Very challenging!




Number five was the hardest for me, because I had to balance on a Bosu. Getting up on a Bosu makes me very nervous--I'm afraid of losing my balance, falling, and breaking something. Once I got on the Bosu, I felt very stable doing squats on it, but getting on and off was nerve-wracking.




The final exercise was doing a squat with one foot on the Bosu, jumping up and switching feet on the Bosu, and then squatting on the other side.



The exercises were split into two groups of three, and I did two sets of 12-15 of each before moving onto the next group of three. A great group of exercises.

I've made a temporary decision that I can eat less healthily on Friday nights. I had popcorn, cheese, and a beer. I stayed within my points and it all tasted great. And unlike last night, I feel fine afterwards. I had an actual hangover this morning from having ice cream last night.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I Scream

You scream, we all scream for ice cream! I had some Ben and Jerry's tonight for the first time since November. Wow--that was so delicious!! My stomach is a little upset, though. In the past, after eating a small bowl of ice cream, I would have had room for a large bowl of ice cream. Tonight, I feel like I should have stopped after a few tastes. That is bizarre--that has never ever happened to me in my life, and makes me feel very encouraged about both my short and long term future.

Liz went to Fitness Together this week for an assessment and is starting to work out there tomorrow. I'm hoping that with her training there twice a week, too, we can develop workouts we can do together one day a week, so we have three tough workouts weekly.

I feel nicely sore after yesterday's workout. Not overwhelmingly sore, but enough to know I had a good workout yesterday. I can't wait to work out again tomorrow!

On the Bench

Wow, did I have a great workout today. I told Mark I wanted sore muscles tomorrow, and he started me with 4 sets of bench presses, 25, 35, 45, 55 pounds, 15 reps of each. After the 55 pounds, I immediately did as many push-ups as I could, which turned out to be 3. Then I did 15 more bench presses at 45 pounds, followed immediately by 15 dips on the bench, and 15 very modified pushups. I then got a 1 minute break, repeated the bench presses, dips, and push-ups, and added 12 shoulder presses with 12 pound weights. Then I repeated all of that and added doing a plank with my hands on the sides of a Swiss ball until my arms we quivering so much I couldn't hold myself up any longer. Then I repeated that whole thing two more times. It was amazing!

I really love the way I feel on Fitness Together days. I asked Mark what he thought about me requesting workouts that make me sore all the time. He said that soreness isn't necessarily the best sign of a great workout--that I should be looking for a workout that challenges me, that I feel like I've given my all, but that doesn't have to mean my muscles are sore. I realized two things in thinking about what he said. The first is that I'm worried that I won't continue to advance in my fitness working out two days a week unless I'm having super-tough workouts, so that request was coming somewhat out of fear. The second thing is that saying that I want sore muscles is how I know how to say I want a challenging workout. I'm going to try other ways of saying that.

I'm felling a bit more back in the swing of things today.

Seesaw

Wow--my weight is all over the place. Last week, I gained weight almost every day and ended up 3.3 pounds above my low weight the week before. I stayed within my calories every day, so I kept expecting it to come off the next day, but no, ever upward. Fortunately, the opposite seems to be true this week, and I've dropped 1.5 pounds in two days.

It's such a mental challenge to stay focussed when I'm gaining weight. My historic pattern has been to exercise and eat carefully till I hit my weight target, then slowly put the weight back on over a period of 3-5 years by the magic combination of eating more and exercising less, until I hit a weight that I can no longer take it, and the I start the whole cycle all over again.

My worst was a number of years ago when I weighed myself every week and watched my weight climb and climb, and felt powerless to do anything about it. My limit that time was 188.8. It seemed a perfect place to stop because that's the weight the electronic scale starts at when it resets itself. That was the first time I realized I had the capacity to be really obese. I'm glad I stopped. I've read that gaining and losing weight is really hard for your heart--I guess harder than staying stable. I really, really, really want to stop the cycle. I know that in order to do that, I have to pay attention to what I weigh, and when I put on a few pounds, take it seriously. I'm doing a great job now, but I've eaten healthily before and know how easy it is to slip into unhealthy patterns.