The Jerk

I actually got up at 5:15 this morning and got to spinning before 6. The last time I'd gone to a 6am class, there were about 6 people in it, so I didn't call to reserve a bike. As it got closer to 6, the room started getting full and I started regretting not calling in. When the class started, Don announced that it was someone's birthday, and then I noticed that a woman was wondering around looking for a bike.

I had gotten there pretty early and the rule is that the last person who arrives who didn't sign up is the first to go, so I still thought I was safe. Don asked who hadn't signed up, so I raised my hand and looked around to see who else hadn't signed up. No other hands. Don started in about how he was sorry, but . . ., but I wasn't ready to accept that I had to go. I was really irritated, not only because I gotten up so early, but because I was anxious about getting up so early and had a rotten night's sleep. So I challenged the room--isn't here anyone else who didn't sign up? No response. Then I tried my last ploy--I asked the woman if she had signed up. She said yes.

I got off the bike and stomped out. Don said he was sorry again and said to sign up for the 6 am class tomorrow. Not likely, I snarled.

I was out in the hall getting my stuff together, when the woman came out and said that it was ok, I could stay. I couldn't believe she was being so nice, especially given that I was acting like a petulant teenager. After thanking her profusely, I went back in and got on my bike.

At which time I was forced to confront what a jerk I had been. It's one thing to act like a jerk and leave. It's quite another to come back in and be in the midst of a room full of people who saw me act that way.

At the end of class, I apologized to everyone for acting like a jerk. Don was nice enough to say that I just acted like everyone who has to leave class. Then he said that he was the jerk, because he thought that she was embarrassed that he'd announced that it was her birthday. That made me feel worse--here she came to work out at 6 am on her birthday and I was part of that not happening.

Another in a long string of examples of what happens when I don't take responsibility for my actions. I chose not to call in and didn't want to accept what came from that. I'm hoping my embarrassment helps me to act with more grace in the future. That's a good muscle to strengthen.